It’s not what you do, it’s also what you DON’T do

This post came about when I put together two comments that I received from participants in two different workshops I ran recently. One held this year and the other last year. Both comments came after being observed working with a participant. One said (roughly translated): “It’s not only WHAT you do, but also what you DON’T do with a person” that helps a person heal. The other (a therapist) said “you don’t do much.”

These were both interesting and very accurate comments, and the wording was exquisite. It’s something only an observer, watching me work with a client, can give.

So it got me thinking, how my work has evolved over the years. And the general pattern has been; doing less and less, and getting better and better results.

How is this possible?

The more I have worked and the more personal sessions I have received, has allowed a natural development to unfold – the ability to be more and more present with a clients process. I think less, stay present more, and connect deeper with the client. At this deeper level, you don’t have to do much,  because the present embodied moment takes centre stage, and the therapist becomes a gentle guide who is able to allow more to happen without interfering.

The client’s body deep down knows what it needs to release to heal. The therapist’s role is to create the safe ongoing space which will allow this deeper part to release naturally.

The more present, centered and grounded a therapist is, the more safer the client feels subconsciously to open up naturally.

I have heard it many times from clients, especially new ones who have never met me before, come in, sit down and surprise themselves as to how much they open up so quickly. This happens naturally and the healing speeds up because the subconscious body of the client is quietly saying ‘yes’ to the feel of the room and the relationship.

Your subconscious feeling body picks up signals and the truth, way before your intellect ‘gets it’ with reason. In fact you can say that all true reason that you think you are creating with your intellect, is really the reasoning of your subconscious that you are just putting words to. This ‘feeling’ is the real you, the much better guide for your life.

Learn to follow this feeling all the time, whenever you can. And more importantly learn to know when you have switched it off and your intellect is trying to do it for you, by itself. The latter, is a very hard and frustrating way to live.