My personal experience with P.S.H Therapy
Written: August 25th 1999 (as of 2015 – still applies as written, see updates in italic.)
I had the P.S.H. Therapy sessions for myself in June of 1996. I was six months into the P.S.H. training at that time. People ask why I enrolled into the training without doing the therapy beforehand.
It was one of those things that happens in life. I was doing a regular bookshelf browse through the body-therapy-based books at one of my favourite bookstores looking for new releases to keep up to date, when the P.S.H. book ‘Emotional Healing’ by Frank Wright caught my eye. It wasn’t meant to be there in that section.
Within three pages of reading/scanning I KNEW I had to do this course where ever it was. It was one of those moments when every cell in your body tells you this is it, the thing I’d been looking for for years to complement my practice. It’s a ‘knowing’ that has no conscious explanation up front at the time. Those moments don’t happen everyday, but when they do I’ve learned that they are always right for me. And I make sure that in between such moments that I’m ready for them for when they do happen.
I rang the number at the back of the book and found out that a course was starting in two weeks time in Sydney! I needed to find the money up front and pay within the two weeks to secure one of the last places. I’m normally a ‘plan-ahead type of person’, not this time! I dropped everything I could, re-scheduled everything I needed to. My life went into temporary chaos to somehow get on to this course. I didn’t have much money at the time but luckily I had been saving to buy another el-cheapo car to replace the one that was fast about to give way permanently. That money was enough to secure a place. With some pleading, Frank Wright allowed me to split the upfront fee into two with a forward dated cheque for the remainder of the fees. I was in!
And the rest as they say, is history.
In June 1996 I did a special trip to Sydney to have the sessions for myself. There was no one yet offering P.S.H. in Melbourne or anywhere in Australia at that time. All P.S.H. therapists were in Sydney, where Frank had trained them. (Except for one person in Adelaide – South Australia).
I went up there for one week. P.S.H. is normally done one session a week for three weeks. I couldn’t afford to stay in Sydney for three weeks but it was okay to have all three sessions spread out over one week provided I stayed on the health farm the whole time (where the sessions were being given) and did nothing else. I agreed. And so did a friend of mine that drove up with me to do the same.
All I said to the therapist was that I wanted to clear ‘Fear’, a fear that I had had for as long as I can remember. I didn’t say anything much else. That was it. And with that we did the sessions.
After the first two sessions I had a thumping great headache. I went back to my room and literally collapsed onto the bed and slept instantly.
After the third session as I went back to my room I had a big smile on my face for no reason, no reason what so ever. I still needed to rest. There wasn’t much else to do but rest anyway. Health farms can make you feel this way.
I came back to Melbourne.
When I got back the fear was still there. Exactly as it was before I left. Oh well, I thought to myself, no quick fix on this one. Would have been nice.
I decided to give the P.S.H. twelve months which is the amount of time over which changes can still be happening. I also decided to do nothing else, no other therapies so I could more easily tell that any changes I experienced would be due to the P.S.H.
Within a week I noticed that my confidence had gone up and that my upper back had straightened. With no effort at all. It just happened.
Within another week I noticed that sexual drive had gone up. It was fine before, but now it was markedly stronger. It was another nice surprise.
With such evidence showing up, it made it easier to commit to doing no other therapy for twelve months.
Over the next month or so I could feel something happening in my belly. I couldn’t put words to it and I couldn’t put a feeling to it. It was just a physical subtle sensation. Something was going on. I had done so much body therapy work on myself that I could feel every little movement that was happened internally.
Two months went by, three months went by. I would occasionally notice little things, little old behaviours that would make me laugh at odd times, as I realised I didn’t need to do them anymore.
At the third month I noticed the biggest thing to date. I thought to myself one day, ‘that’s funny?, I haven’t had a migraine yet’ I would normally get a migraine every three to four months.
In the past, before any therapy work on myself, I would get them 10 to 12 times year. After some body psychotherapy (Radix) work they cut down to 3 to 4 a year. And to me that was a huge success.
Now they were gone!
I went for 14 months without a single migraine. The first time I can ever remember in my life not having a migraine in any year. After 14 months I got a big one, like the ones before. Since then I’ve had one more and another half one. 2 1/2 migraines in over 3 years. In which time I would normally have had about 10 by now (before P.S.H.) (Update 2010: Migraines are down to roughly one every three years now.)
At that third month I remembered my second P.S.H. session. (My conscious mind caught up in a way.) I remembered at one point noticing that my left temple began to burn, very hot. It felt like it was glowing at one stage and I felt embarrassed that the therapist would be able to see this. He didn’t of course, it was all happening internally, it just felt that way. It felt like someone had placed a blow torch to my temple from the inside and turned it on. It didn’t feel like it was me doing it. Of course it was me, a deeper part of me that my conscious mind was not tracking.
When I would have migraines they would start off like a little headache in my left temple, grow till they were like a hammer hitting there, then spread to the whole of my head and that would be the end of my day. And until I threw up the pain would remain, and if I didn’t throw up, it would linger for three days.
I realised three months later that the burning sensation in my left temple was probably the migraines healing. I’m not sure, but that’s the conscious mind’s analysis of it and it doesn’t matter. Whether I ever know how I created them and what the cause was didn’t really matter at this time. They were practically gone and it felt real. I had some very good theories about what caused them but in P.S.H. terms, the theory was not what was healing them.
After noticing the change with the migraines it became a little easier to give the P.S.H. sessions twelve months to work themselves (myself) through.
Four months went by, five, six, seven, eight, I was beginning to think the fear would never go. It was still there like always, trembling away, up and down my spine. I had begun to plan what else I could do after twelve months to free myself of this fear/anxiety. But I was still committed to allowing twelve months to see what could fully happen. There was no sign of anything shifting so even though my conscious mind had given up I was still going to give it the full twelve months.
After nine months I woke up one day and I’ll never forget this. I sat up in bed and thought to myself, “everything seems quiet”. Something was different. Then I realised that my whole spine up and down my body was ‘still’, like a placid lake. Totally calm!
And it’s been that way ever since. Over three years later. (2015 update: And it STILL applies, 19 years later!)
The only way to explain it, is that what was probably happening over the nine months, bit by bit, very subtly, things were releasing, changing inside myself. I was doing it, but I didn’t know how consciously. After a brief subtle sense of it in my belly in the first few months, I can’t recall much else happening. Yet all I can assume is that it was still happening. I was doing it, very subtly, in the way it needed to be done and in the time it needed to take. And nine months later, seemingly ‘overnight’, it was gone.
A few weeks after this fear had gone I was invited to be the guest speaker at a Rotary Club meeting, to talk about P.S.H. and what it was. I was the after-dinner speaker. I had never been to a Rotary club meeting, the only person I knew there was the person who invited me. Normally I would be a nervous wreck, trembling over the dinner not being able to converse very much as I’d be rehearsing the first few lines of my talk in my head, so it could come out parrot fashion, because I knew as soon as I stood up my mind would go blank.
Normally giving a public speech, my legs would turn to jelly, my breathing would choke in my chest, my voice would quiver (this was the worse because people could hear it!), my mind would go blank, and I’d sometimes go a bit red. Overall, I’d just be SO NERVOUS! all over.
I did three public speaking courses over the years to combat this and they helped tremendously. I highly recommend them. They gave me a very good ‘shell’ to cope with the nervousness. So good that many times if I’d prepared right, no one would tell that I was nervous. The outer me would look great, but internally the fear would be raging, but in check, and taking a lot of energy to keep it together.
Speaking courses are not designed to deal with releasing the real deep down emotional causes of anxiety. They are not therapy.
Again, this talk, I’ll never forget. I was completely relaxed over the dinner, eating away with not a nervous bone in my body. My conscious mind was thinking, “this is weird, what’s going on? why am I not nervous? what’s happening?, this isn’t me!”. But my body had other ideas now, much better ones.
There were no nerves at all. It literally felt like I was waiting for someone else to give the talk, where all I had to do was just sit there all cosy, safe and snug and be entertained.
I got introduced, I got up, faced the audience and waited for all the skills and my coping shell to kick in to cover the fear. It wasn’t needed for the first time ever that I can remember. I was so relaxed I didn’t know what to do for the first 15-20 seconds. My mouth was slightly ‘dropped open’ in awe, taking in this new experience of just ‘being me’ up in front of an audience, especially one I knew little about.
I began to talk and the talk flowed. I was probably too relaxed because I hadn’t yet adjusted my ‘doing’ behaviour to my new ‘feeling’ behaviour.
With all the courses and books I’d read about public speaking fear, I kept coming across the concept of the ‘butterflies in the belly’ how they are normal and not to worry about them. I had no idea what the experience of that was even though I’d heard it described over and over. Well at the Rotary talk I finally knew for the first time what it was. I finally felt the butterflies in my belly and quickly realised why I could never feel them before. Because in the past MY WHOLE BODY WAS SHAKING BUTTERFLIES!
These ‘new’ butterflies were normal. They related to the audience here and now, where there were about thirty-three business people, and I only knew one. I had never been to a Rotary Club meeting, had I prepared right? would it all make sense? were they too conservative to ‘get it’? Normal questions creating normal butterflies in the belly. Keeps you on your toes to adjust to your audience at a moments notice. But anything more nervous than that is purely old patterns from the past playing out in a way that helps nobody.
That Rotary experience confirmed for me that the fear and old anxiety was gone. Without thinking about it I had cured myself of my fear of public speaking. I had no idea that the everyday inner trembling fear that I experienced daily and wanted to clear had anything to do with the fear of public speaking, or with confidence, or with sexual drive.
These were all ‘side benefits’ that came with the therapy.
Everyone’s experience of P.S.H. therapy is of course different, this was mine.
Update 2015: Fear of public speaking is still nonexistent, 19 years on. I have given many talks to much larger audiences, around the world. And the above results still apply.